TEN THINGS TO KILL AN ERECTION

I was flipping through channels the other night and caught a soft porn movie on Cinemax............OK you got me , I knew it was on. Even though it wasn't a good movie, I still like to watch. They are somewhat humorous in that the fucking is noticeably fake. Now don't get me wrong, it's still good enough to give me a hard-on. What is funny is how the guy just rubs his dick against her, no long thrust, no balls slapping her ass...Nothing! My question is...How does he keep from getting a full blown rock hard woodie. If I was at the plate batting, I would be swinging some wood. There were two conclusions I came up with, either he is gay and not interested in women or he has tremendous mind control. Now at times, guys use a type of mind control to keep us from cumming too soon, so we don't dissatisfy you ladies. So,with the help of a fellow blogger we will discuss some ideas a guy can use.

****WARNING****

The following ideas when used improperly may cause erectile dysfunction

1. Think about sports: This is the one most guys use and it works pretty well, unless your a diehard fan that gets a hard on from sports.

2.Start an off the wall conversation: "Can you believe how well the Dow Jones is doing" or "I just read the best article on keeping slugs out of your garden."

3. Watch "The View"

4. Think about your school lunch lady, the one with the big mole...with the big black hairs coming out of it.

5. Imagine your parents having sex: Too much of this one may have you spending time on a couch.

6. Tape a picture of Flavor Flav to the back of her head.

7. Imagine your 80 year old Grandmother on stage at a strip club.

8. Think about the rape scene from Deliverance.

9. Rosie O'Donnell

10. Rosie O'Donnell nude covered in butter smelling like day old tuna.

MY MINI MEME

It's been way too long since I posted anything, not that I have lost interest in the blog, but work has really kept me away from the blogging universe and I have really missed it. I thought I would start back with a meme. I've never done a meme before but here is my shot at it. I have borrowed some questions from other blogs and some are my own.

Are there any memorable moments from 2006? I would like to remember where I was at from August through December. Other than that....no.

What age were you when you lost your virginity? 16

Did you graduate High School? Yes, but I hated English as you can see in my blog!

Did you go to College? Yes I went to college, but only to see my girlfriend. I never attended class but I did do some Shakespeare outside the womens dorm..."Julie, would you come and open the fuckin' door, it's cold out here"!

Have you ever participated in a three way? No......well there was this time that I was pretty fucked up and........uhmm, no I have not.

Have you ever been "hit on" by a member of the same sex? Yes

Would you have sex with someone of the same sex? Hell no!! Just who the fuck is asking these questions anyway?

When you said "no", does that really mean maybe? I see that I'm dealing with a real smart-ass here...Fuck you!

You would like to, wouldn't you? GO TO HELL!! Next question please!

Have you ever had sex in a public place? Yes, but it was after dark.

Have you ever ran naked in a public area? Yes, to get away from the cops in the above area!

Do you masterbate? Occasionally

Do you use any props or look at pictures while masterbating? Sometimes, but I like to put my arm to sleep so it feels like someone else is doing it for me.

What was the worst sex you ever had? The worst was with G.G, I would rank it being close to having sex with a corpse, except when I deflowered her and lost the hearing in my right ear. (See the "Basic Training" post)

What was the best sex you ever had? The best was with S.C, she was eight years older than me. I was her clay and she molded me.....boy, did she mold me!

Have you ever had anal sex? No....Well, there was this time when I was pretty fucked up and.....Uhmm, no I have never done it.

Do you prefer pussy shaven or unshaven? I like it either way as long as it is trimmed close, but prefer shaven.

Do you use any "toys" during sex? I have used a vibrator on my partner before, but I have never used anything on myself.

What was your most embarrassing moment during sex? I farted on my first girlfriend during sex.

What was your overall most embarrassing moment? My girlfriends mother was looking through some of our vacation pictures and she kept staring at a certain one....the one my girlfriend took of my hard cock one morning.

If one of your friends wife or girlfriend wanted to have sex with you...would you? No, that is one line I do not cross.

Would you consider doing a porn movie? Yes, but I may have trouble with the lines.
Instead of oral, oral, missionary, cowboy, doggie, back to missionary, then money shot. Mine would be oral....money shot.

Do you prefer younger or older women? Right now, I really don't have a preference. When I was younger I liked the older women.

How much time do you spend on foreplay? I like for my partner to climax once or twice before moving on to other things, So I will spend as much time as I need to.

One final question....If you could have sex with someone famous, who would it be? Geez, that is a hard one to narrow down....I guess it probably would be Beyonce, beautiful face, nice tits, great ass, Hmm..... If you will excuse me....I feel my arm going to sleep.